The following is the talk I gave when I was asked to speak at the Jeff Pulver International Network Event in August 2020.
The power of Integrity, Influence and Impact, and the means to utilizing them properly is hinted at within the very words themselves. So, when you want to: Help someone find their purpose, perhaps including yourself, just remember these three clues I’m going to point out.
First, let’s define Integrity – honest, moral uprightness.
Within Integrity, we have the first clue, the word grit: Grit is perseverence of effort or passion. It’s that grit, that perseverence about the things you are passionate about or believe in, that will lead you down the right path to get things done with integrity, with honesty and moral uprightness.
If you want to check yourself, a good barometer to see if you are going in the right direction, to determine if something will be beneficial materially, is to decide if it is the proper thing to do from a spiritual standpoint. Whether you call it karma, divine providence or mojo, is irrelevant. If something goes against your morals, then ultimately, it will not be beneficial to you materially. Be true to yourself and don’t back down from what you believe in your heart.
Next, we have Influence – The definition of Influence is very simple but can be something of profound significance. The extraordinary power of Influence is to have an effect on the character, the development or the behavior of something, and in our case, were talking about affecting another human being. Think about it…….you have an opportunity to change the way some else is going to live their life. Let me repeat that…..YOU have an opportunity to change the way some else is going to live their life.
Within influence, we have the word fluence: mysterious, magical or hypnotic power. And we also have a related word fluency: Now, fluency is generally connected to speech. To be exact, fluency is the speed, accuracy and patterns of rhythym and sound in speech.
But let’s think a minute about how this is connected to influence.
What happens when you hear a song that you really like suddenly come on the radio or that pops up on your device when your playlist is on shuffle? You move to the music. You identify with the patterns of the rhythm and sounds. You connect. This is the essence of influence.
But how do we connect?
You need to identify the needs and wants of your audience, whether that’s a single individual or a group of people.
And sometimes, people have so much going on in their lives, and outward appearances don’t allow you to see what that person needs, or even more, to see that…. they need anything at all.
It’s like the abundance of information available for search on the world wide web. How do companies make it to the front page of Google search? How do you: “make it to the front page of someone’s internal google search? In other words, when you’ve got to identify the user intent, so to speak. Just like companies that focus on the importance of user intent, you’ve got to understand what are this person’s actual needs and wants?
Those companies understand that to be successful in influencing others, it starts with getting their attention. For us here today, that means focusing on emotional search engine optimization by employing fluency……..speed and accuracy in order to make a connection, capture their attention, get them to click with what you are offering, and this way, the influence will be beneficial. When we can influence someone’s life positively, we can’t take that opportunity for granted. One shouldn’t hesitate if such a special opportunity has presented itself. But as I said, you’ve got to identify the needs and wants of that person. You’ve got to do some research first, to see where their emotional IP address is, so to speak, to see where they are holding, and what they envision for themselves.
And that leads us to Impact – which as we know is the actual effect or influence of one entity on another.
The clue to remember here is pact: What is a pact? An agreement or covenant between two or more people.
Every person, regardless of their backround or knowledge, has the power to illuminate the world with their G-d given talents and acquired skills. And each person has the power to lead. We don’t have to wait until we know the entire alphabet, so to speak, to teach it to another. When you know the letter A, then you can go and teach A. In fact, you should go and teach that A. After all, what’s the purpose of learning something and keeping all of that knowledge to ourselves?
Everyone has a spark deep inside, and when we endeavor to amplify that goodness within that individual, we are creating a connection which will allow us, to not only have an impact on their lives, but encourage them to impact others’ lives as well.
But, how? We have to “find favor in others”, help them discover their own merits. I was thinking about something connected to this the other day. It’s very interesting….. in Hebrew, the expression for “finding favor in others”, actually gives us insight on how to do it. In Hebrew, “finding favor in others” is “limud zechut,” which literally means: study of another person’s merit. We have to study, to look carefully, closely at someone’s merit, because sometimes we have to find that which is hidden within a person, perhaps it’s even hidden to them, and help them bring it out of themselves in order to encourage them to share their gift with the world. The greatest impact you can have on someone, is to help them impact someone else.
Everyone here today has the potential to have an influence and impact on another person. We just need to reveal our will for this. You have to decide to do it and take action. If you do that, you will be successful. Because, we are all actual partners in making, our world at large and in microcosm, the best place it can be. Because, the best way to inspire others is by showing, by being a living example.
So, we have to recognize the crucial value of each individual…… including ourselves.
Knowing that people look to you for guidance and inspiration, will help you be the best version of yourself.
And when it comes to affecting our own lives, as with all good things, we must constantly grow. We should always strive to improve ourselves through actual effort and persistence. But life is full of daily challenges and it’s easy to get stressed and overwhelmed with all of life’s obligations.
We can stay balanced by reminding ourselves that since the best way to influence others is through a pleasant, friendly and sincere approach, we should, at least, act the same way with ourselves. It’s taught that: words that come from the heart, enter the heart. We also deserve to treat ourselves with kindness, so, speak to yourself nicely and cut off the negative self-talk as soon as it starts. We would never speak to others, the way we sometimes speak to ourselves, right?
It is up to each one of us to help bring the internal power someone has, their talents, their skills, from a potential state into actual expression, even knowing that sometimes it will take a greater measure of our inner strength and effort.
Being a Leader
Every one of us can be a leader, because we all have the power to influence others, by choosing to be a positive example to the people in our lives. And nowadays, with technology, this potential to influence extends to the farthest reaches, beyond anything we could have imagined, even just a few years ago. And through this, we can lead others to be their best selves and to develop the life that’s best for them.
Remember, Action is the main thing.
From the bottom of my heart, may each and every-single-one-of-you achieve your potential, help others to reach theirs and may you reap the rewards of your efforts.